


Press Send [an oikawa fanfic]

by via_megumi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Break Up, F/M, Oikawa's Girlfriend, Regret, Sad Oikawa Tooru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/via_megumi/pseuds/via_megumi
Summary: “I’m focused on the Spring High tournament right now; I don’t have time…”“I know that, but I thought you would at least make an exception since it’s our anniversary today,”It’s just… I can’t deal with you right now. It’s  my last chance to reach nationals. You know how important this is to me."“I didn’t realize I’m such an inconvenience,”- here's my interpretation of what really happened with Oikawa and his ex-girlfriend.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 14





	Press Send [an oikawa fanfic]

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by that one scene in season 2 where Oikawa's nephew mentioned Oikawa's girlfriend broke up with him.  
> hope you like it! x

**_ PAST - Chiasa _ **

_Thirty minutes. it’s been thirty minutes since the time Tooru and I agreed to meet. I was sitting on one of the tables inside the convenience store beside the station. It was Saturday today and I was supposed to be spending this precious free day with my boyfriend celebrating our three-year anniversary. I look over my phone again and saw there was no reply to the messages I sent him. I sighed loudly; this has become a habit of his lately, he would reply to my messages late and tell me he was busy so he couldn’t reply. With no other option to contact Tooru, I decided to text Iwaizumi-san; I hope I’m not bothering him._

_“Iwa-san, have you heard from Toru today? We’re supposed to meet but he’s not here yet. I’ve been texting him but he hasn’t replied”_

_I reread my message before sending it to him. I tap my fingers on the table while waiting for a reply. Hopefully Iwa-san will reply, unlike my good for nothing boyfriend. Today was supposed to be a fun day; I waited for this day for weeks, kept going back and forth over gift ideas, agonizing what gift to give Toru. This year, we agreed that I plan for our date today since Toru has been busy with volleyball practice. “And beside Chi-chan you love planning things like this” Toru commented when we were talking about our anniversary plans. Ironically enough, our anniversary falls on White Day but I still happily agreed to take charge of planning our date. I felt my phone vibrate and quickly looked over who texted me. I frowned when I saw it was Iwa-san but at least he might have an idea where Toru could be._

_“He’s here in the school gym practicing for the Spring High playoffs next week. Didn’t he tell you, Chiasa-san?” was Iwa-san’s reply._

_“Tooru didn’t mention anything about volleyball practice today.” I replied furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. Iwa-san replied seconds later._

_“Well coach did announce it unexpectedly yesterday…” he replied. “We’ll be here all day, Chiasa. I don’t think he can make it” he added. The text put me off for some reason. Why is Iwa-san the one telling me this? Why hasn’t Tooru replied to me with all the messages I sent to him? He should be the one explaining this to me. I was about to launch a long reply expressing my thoughts when Iwa-san texted again._

_“Sorry Chiasa-san, our break’s over. I won’t be able to reply. You can talk to Tooru after practice. It ends at 3pm.” he said finally. And with that, I stood up from where I was sitting, fuming. This wasn’t the first time Tooru stood me up for volleyball._

_These past few weeks we haven’t been hanging out that much because of his practice and preparation for the upcoming tournament; I usually don’t get this mad when he does this because I know how passionate he is with his club. But today was our third anniversary that I worked so hard to plan. The least he could do was text me and tell me he won’t be able to go. He had all night last night to tell me after all. I walked out the convenience store and quickly head towards the direction of our school. It was a good twenty-minute walk from here to the Aoba Johsai High so I can easily storm inside the gym and demand an explanation from Tooru._

* * *

_I was standing in front of the doors of our school’s gym my previous resolve withering. I hesitated in walking inside. I didn’t really want to disturb the volleyball practice. Iwa-san did mention it was for the Spring High playoffs next week. The team lost to Shiratorizawa Academy in the InterHigh finals, coming in second. I saw how heartbroken Tooru was when they lost, and I know how hard he’s been practicing for this coming Spring High since it will be his last tournament as a volleyball player of Aoba Johsai. So, do I really want to ruin their practice over this?_

_“Aren’t you a friend of Oikawa?” I heard someone say interrupting me from thoughts. I looked up to see Irihata-sensei, the volleyball head coach, walking out of the gym doors._

_“Ah- yes. Good afternoon sensei,” I said bowing. I looked down, avoiding eye contact, suddenly feeling embarrassed. It was probably weird to find a girl standing in front of the gym doors doing nothing. Thankfully it was Irihata-sensei, if it was Mizoguchi-sensei, the other volleyball coach, he would have scolded me by now._

_“If you have business with him, the players are still busy doing a practice game inside but you can enter and watch if you want” he said after a few minutes of silence._

_“That’s- um, I- I shouldn’t disturb the volleyball practice,” I said stuttering. He looked at me looking confused. “I- uh, I’ll just wait until it finishes” I added. He was probably wondering why I was standing in front of the doors in the first place if I didn’t want to go in. He shrugged at me and walked on. “Suit yourself” he probably thought. I breathed out as soon as he was out of earshot. I walked over the benches near the gym. I sat and put the shoulder bag I was carrying on my lap. Inside was my gift for Toru. I looked at my watch seeing it was only 1:30pm. The practice ends at 3pm, still an hour and a half to go._

* * *

_The practice match ended awhile ago; I knew because I saw players, I didn’t recognize walked out of the gym looking downhearted. “They probably lost the practice match, which was a good thing because that means Toru and the other won,” I thought. Since I knew the members were still staying to pack things up, I stayed seated and waited by the benches. One by one, the volleyball members also walked out the gym, Tooru and Iwaizumi-san were the last ones to walk out. I quickly stood up and approached them._

_“Chi-chan, what are you doing here?” Tooru asked surprised. He looked over my appearance and his eyes went wide. “Shit! We have a date today!” he realized loudly._

_“You mean our anniversary date was today,” I emphasized the word anniversary. Toru looks taken aback when I mentioned this. “Wait today’s our-“ he stopped and searched inside his bag. “Shit, I left my phone at home” I heard him muttered._

_“Well that explains the unanswered messages,” I said sighing disappointed. I look over at Iwaizumi-san and he had an apologetic look on his face._

_“I should leave you guys alone,” he said. He squeezed Tooru’s shoulder, like he’s saying “good luck, man” before going ahead, leaving us alone._

_“Chi-chan, I’m sorry” Tooru apologized, taking my hand and leading me to the benches. We sat beside each other as he continued to talk. “I didn’t mean to forget. Today was a sudden practice, coach just announced it yesterday.” he said._

_“I heard that from Iwaizumi-san” I replied. He looked at me confused. “I texted him when you weren’t replying to me. He said you had practice today, you could have told me last night. I wouldn’t mind this much if you did” I added._

_“I was watching some match replays last night and went straight to bed after.” he stated. “I’m focused on the Spring High tournament right now; I don’t have time…” he trailed softly._

_“I know that, but I thought you would at least make an exception since it’s our anniversary today,” I replied. He bit his lip and sighed tiredly._

_“It’s just… I can’t deal with you right now. It’s my last tournament as a high school student, it’s my last chance to reach nationals. You know how important this is to me. I have to put my all to this last shot.” he said. I frowned at his words which stings me._

_“I didn’t realize I’m such an inconvenience,” I stated. I notice him wince at what I said. “You’re right, you should be focused on this tournament, it’s your last one after all,” I said standing up._

_“I shouldn’t distract you with things like anniversary dates,” I continued. Tooru quickly stood up and took my hand. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said suddenly. I took out the gift box inside my bag and handed it to him. “This is for you, don’t worry I’m sure my gift won’t hinder your focus,” I said. He looked at the box and then to me._

_“I- this…” he said stuttering._

_“You forgot to get a gift, didn’t you?” I asked feeling dejected. “Well I guess you did, since you forgot it was even our anniversary,” I stated._

_“Chiasa, I’m really sorry” he said using my whole name which means to say he was serious. I took a deep breath, before speaking again. I can’t believe I’m about to do this…_

_“Toru, let’s end this. I don’t want to prevent you from giving your full attention to this tournament. I know how hard you are working for this, and don’t get me wrong I get how important this is to you.” I said._

_“Chiasa, please don’t say that. Just forgive me this once and I’ll make it up to you, I swear” he pleaded. I shook my head._

_“I don’t want to be a nuisance to you, Toru. You can start this tournament, without worrying how you can make it up to your girlfriend,” I said looking down. I let his hand that was holding me go. “It’s over, Toru. Goodbye.” I said irrevocably. I bowed to him slightly before walking away._

_I tried my best, fought myself even, not to look back at him. I don’t want to see his face, his probably miserable face, because if I do, I would probably go back and forgive him. I walked faster, out of the school gates and to the nearby park. As I figured I put enough distance between Tooru and I, I felt the tears in my eyes finally falling. I broke up with Tooru, the realization just hitting me on what I did. I guess all the bottled-up feelings I had these past few weeks finally came out._

_Him letting me walk home alone because he had practice, refusing to hang out because he had to review volleyball strategies and now this: forgetting our anniversary because of a sudden practice match. I’m tired of feeling disappointed over and over again. But that doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt. Because it does, it hurts so much._

* * *

_That night, I kept tossing and turning in my bed; I just can’t fall asleep. When I try closing my eyes, I see Tooru’s face filled with hurt. After all this time I shared with him it seems unfair to leave with the reason being his love for volleyball. When in the first place, it was the one I love about him the most. His look of determination every match, how much trust his teammates to follow through every set he gives, how amazing and cool he looks whenever he makes a successful set or serve. That’s what made me fall in love with him._

_But it’s for the best, I tell myself. It’s true that I really didn’t want to bother him, especially now since he’s at one of the most important turning points of his life. I reached out to get my phone in my nightstand, and instinctively went to my messages with Tooru. I always did message him whenever I can’t sleep at night. He wouldn’t keep his phone on vibrate during the night because he knows I have trouble sleeping sometimes and he wanted me to have someone to talk to if I do._

_Without thinking, I started typing out a message._

**_The hardest thing I ever did_ **

**_Is say goodbye and walk slowly away from you._ **

**_I regret what I said, I take everything back._ **

_I stopped myself before I even think to send it. I erased what I just typed, and put my phone away. This is for the best; I repeat to myself until I fall asleep._

* * *

** PRESENT - OIKAWA **

“So, I have something to say,” Iwa-chan said after a moment of silence. We were walking home after our final game today. We lost the semi-finals to Karasuno High School which hurts like hell. All our hard work, all the practices we did, all the strategies we had planned, all went to waste. This was our last chance to reach nationals, and we didn’t even reach finals. I look over at him waiting for him to continue.

“I thought we’re over the drama already. I already cried to you guys back in the gym, we re-affirmed our feelings just now. I get it I’m the absolute best setter, you don’t have to tell me twice” I said teasingly. “We even fist bumped each other, what more can you say?” I asked.

“Since that Spring High tournament is over, are you going to try and mend things with Chiasa again?” he asked. I stopped walking, freezing on the spot at the mention of her name. It’s been a week and a few days since Chiasa broke up with me. I tried my hardest to steer clear of the hurt and sadness I felt when it happened. She said it herself, _“I don’t want to be a nuisance to you, Tooru. You can start this tournament, without worrying how you can make it up to your girlfriend,”_ That’s why all I focused on these past few days was the tournament. But now that’s over, and I guess I have to confront these feelings.

“She made it pretty clear, she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore,” I said looking down. The day after Chiasa broke up with me, I headed towards her house straight away, but her older brother was there standing guard telling me she didn’t want to see to me. Afterwards at school, I tried talking to her but she kept avoiding me. Finally telling me to “stop trying to make up with me and just go to your volleyball practice. Don’t talk to me anymore, Tooru” when I tried walking her home that day.

“You know she’s didn’t mean anything she said. She was looking out for you on her own way,” Iwa-chan said. “Even though her own way just brought you pain and suffering but I guess you deserve it with how you treated her,” he added nonchalantly. I glared at him as we continued walking. But he wasn’t wrong, I did neglect my girlfriend, that part was true.

“She didn’t even come today or even yesterday,” I said softly. I tried not to notice it, but I couldn’t help myself. As soon as we entered the court, I look over at the bleachers towards the crowd of people cheering for us. I didn’t see her there. She would always watch our games, even if we have an argument days before a match, she would always be there cheering for us, for me.

“I fucked it up, just like I fucked it up when I didn’t receive the spike earlier,” I said miserably.

“Well let’s not go back to what happened earlier, since you can’t do anything about that.” Iwa-chan replied. “But you can do something about Chiasa,” he added. He stopped and I realized we already reached my house.

“Well whatever you decide to do, good luck to you,” he said as he continued walking, waving goodbye at me. I opened the gate to my house and was about to enter when I heard him call out, “Don’t overthink it!”

* * *

As I sat on my bed after taking a shower, I took the snow globe that was on my bedside table. It was the gift Chiasa gave me for our third anniversary. Inside the snow globe was the figure of a Ferris wheel, symbolizing where we confessed our feelings, where I asked her to be my girlfriend and where we had our first kiss. I stared at the Ferris wheel; I could still remember that day so clearly. How nervous I felt before confessing, how I would clench and unclench my sweaty palms beside me, how I felt so relieved when I confessed and learned that she felt the same way. The feeling of how happy I was when she agreed to be my girlfriend, the feeling of her lips when we first kissed. I closed my eyes imagining I was back to that day. A knock on my door disturbed my thoughts.

“Tooru, you left your messenger bag in the living room,” I heard my mom said outside my door. I put down the snow globe and quickly went over to my door to get my bag.

“Oops, sorry mom, my bad” I said apologetically. She gave me a smile, telling me it was fine. She was probably tip toeing around me, afraid to scold me since I already had a rough day today. Well, rough was an understatement. I closed the door and slumped down my messenger bag beside my desk. I didn’t notice the side pocket of my bag was opened and since I just threw down my bag, the contents of the pocket were scattered on the floor.

I felt my chest tightened when I saw what it was, it was all the _omamori_ Chiasa gave me in the past for my matches. I always kept them in my bag, so it can be near me when we play a game. I picked up the _omamori_ one by one and put it back inside the pocket. Now that I think about it, she didn’t give me one this time. She would always give it to me a day before the match, but since we broke up before the tournament, she didn’t have a chance to give me one. Maybe that’s why we lost, I thought to myself.

I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I should be tired right now with how hard I played today, I should be going straight to bed tonight, but I can’t. With Iwa-chan mentioning her and seeing her anniversary gift and the _omamori_ , I can’t stop thinking about Chiasa. I took my phone from my bedside table and ended up scrolling across my photos. Of course, this was a bad idea since I still had my pictures of Chiasa in it. There was even an album solely dedicated to our pictures. Since I’ve been avoiding feeling hurt all week, I decided to just fuck it and scroll over our pictures.

The album was filled with selfies of us, pictures of our dates, the pictures of us together during our school trip and the latest one being a picture we took together during Valentine’s Day where she baked me a chocolate cake. I stared at that photo for a long time. She was smiling so brightly, so proud of what she made. I love her smile so much. She would always give me a bright smile whenever I lose my matches to cheer me up. Her smile would instantly make me feel a little better and also her hugs, she would hold me tight and whisper soothing words.

Now that we’re not together, would she put on a smile and wear it for someone new? Would she hug someone else tight whenever they’re feeling down? I winced; ouch, I just hurt myself with my own thoughts.

Without thinking, I started typing out a message.

**_I only have myself to blame,_ **

**_But do you think we could start again?_ **

**_I'd take our relationship back in a heartbeat._ **

I hover over the send button… but decided against it. With how much I hurt her, I don’t think she would ever take me back.

**Author's Note:**

> some of the lines in the fic are from the lyrics of "don't you ever forget about me" by sleeping with sirens!  
> tbh i had to pause a few times writing this bc my own writing hurt me huhu (sorry for doing this to oikawa-san)  
> hope you enjoyed reading it tho! x  
> word count: 3320


End file.
